1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:07,530 --> 00:00:09,974 Previously, on "A.P. Bio..." 3 00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:11,645 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 4 00:00:11,647 --> 00:00:13,683 Little tweetie bastard. He got me again. 5 00:00:13,685 --> 00:00:15,413 Yeah, he was just... just perched up there, you know, 6 00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:16,607 waiting for me to get out of my car. 7 00:00:16,609 --> 00:00:17,912 So I'm gonna go kill it right now. 8 00:00:17,914 --> 00:00:19,417 You guys should cut class today too. 9 00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:21,152 But I have perfect attendance. 10 00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:22,584 Hey, loosen up. Loosen up. 11 00:00:22,586 --> 00:00:23,588 In fact, you know what? 12 00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:24,987 If you don't walk out of this class right now, 13 00:00:24,989 --> 00:00:26,491 I will mark you absent. 14 00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:30,194 All right, now does anyone know where I can buy a gun? 15 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,363 Probably everywhere, right? Yeah? 16 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,165 ♪♪ 17 00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:36,567 Raw horse meat. 18 00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:38,369 It's a delicacy in Japan. 19 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,238 I'll try it. 20 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,242 My pallet is sophisticated. 21 00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:45,178 Arigato. 22 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,379 Marissa, give me your jacket. 23 00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:49,514 [WHISPERING] Give me your jacket. 24 00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,249 Gimme your jacket. 25 00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:53,284 You just crapped your capris, didn't you? 26 00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:55,286 [DRAMATIC STING] 27 00:00:55,288 --> 00:00:57,689 Also previously on "A.P. Bio..." 28 00:00:57,691 --> 00:01:00,191 The donor insemination worked. 29 00:01:00,193 --> 00:01:01,592 It's positive! 30 00:01:01,594 --> 00:01:03,561 They've all been positive. 31 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:05,064 It's weird that you keep checking. 32 00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:06,531 Ooh, girl. You know I'm thorough. 33 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,333 And you can never be too sure. 34 00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:09,667 Ooh. Ow. 35 00:01:09,669 --> 00:01:11,469 [CHUCKLES] The legs are growing. 36 00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:13,438 Oh, no. No, no, wait. I'm... I'm still here. 37 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,673 No... yeah, I understand. 38 00:01:15,675 --> 00:01:17,208 Bad news. 39 00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:18,376 [DRAMATIC STING] 40 00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:19,746 The mall's shut down. 41 00:01:24,307 --> 00:01:26,208 Well, fundraiser raised enough cash 42 00:01:26,210 --> 00:01:29,379 for Pam's veterinary bills, but time is running out! 43 00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:32,316 She's one of the most important rams in my life. 44 00:01:32,318 --> 00:01:35,153 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 45 00:01:35,155 --> 00:01:37,390 - Jack, are you leaving? - Uh, yes. 46 00:01:37,392 --> 00:01:40,331 I'm going to do some, uh, bird watching. 47 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,733 For Biology. 48 00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:44,336 I got a real ram-ergency on my hands. 49 00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:46,541 Would you deposit this in Pam's account at First Federal? 50 00:01:46,543 --> 00:01:49,307 - No, I... - I gotta go give her a sponge bath. 51 00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:50,443 Stat! 52 00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:56,247 [DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS] 53 00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:57,749 [DRAMATIC STING] 54 00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:00,485 Also previously on "A.P. Bio..." 55 00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:01,786 [SCHOOL BELL RINGING] 56 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,322 Now that's the kind of guy who skips class. 57 00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:05,590 Travis. 58 00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:07,658 He's the baddest boy in school. 59 00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:10,361 I heard he's a drug dealer. 60 00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:11,462 Out of my way, nerds. 61 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,630 Oh! 62 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:15,466 Sir, you dropped your... 63 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:18,369 drug money. 64 00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:20,571 [DRAMATIC STING] 65 00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:22,573 God, I hope Pam pulls through. 66 00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:24,776 No principal should outlive their mascot. 67 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:27,612 Hey, do we really need all the trees 68 00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:28,846 outside around the school? 69 00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:30,415 Did you make the deposit? 70 00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:31,582 The... the... the deposit? 71 00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:32,750 Wh... oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah. 72 00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:35,486 Yeah. 73 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,355 Well, that's gone. But you know what? 74 00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:38,865 I'm more than happy to help cover the... 75 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,492 Pam's $10,000 is gone? 76 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,327 She's gonna die without it. 77 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,630 Uh, yeah... no. Like you said, um, 78 00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:49,334 you know, I'm more than happy to help find the thief 79 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,703 who stole it off my desk! 80 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,738 [DRAMATIC STING] 81 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,840 Well, where are we gonna do our mall walks? 82 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,643 Do we break into the school at night and do them here? 83 00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:01,346 Oh, you know what? I like that idea. 84 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:02,747 Let's keep it just between us. 85 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,782 You guys, I am so sorry. 86 00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:07,318 I just texted our whole mall walking group. 87 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,921 Oh, tell me you didn't include Mr. "On your Left!" 88 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:12,390 I'm bad at secrets! 89 00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:13,791 [DRAMATIC STING] 90 00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,593 We should invest it. I'm telling you. 91 00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:17,695 - [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] - In mutual bonds. 92 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:20,631 We can't spend this! It's too hot. 93 00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:22,567 And until we know what to do, 94 00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:24,702 Victor holds the money. 95 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,537 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 96 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,373 [CHIME] 97 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,409 ♪♪ 98 00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:32,679 I'm holding the money now. 99 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,414 ♪♪ 100 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:37,749 [CHIME] 101 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:42,288 ♪♪ 102 00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:44,858 These thirsty boys can't be trusted. 103 00:03:44,860 --> 00:03:47,892 [DRAMATIC STING] 104 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,461 Also previously on "A.P. Bio..." 105 00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:51,554 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 106 00:03:51,556 --> 00:03:52,563 - Oh. - Oh! 107 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:53,598 Hey, excuse me. 108 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,566 Yeah, no. My bad. 109 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,001 I don't think we've officially met. 110 00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:58,369 Gary, geometry. 111 00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,438 I'm Dave, geology. 112 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,159 - Such a pleasure. Here we are. - Yeah. 113 00:04:03,161 --> 00:04:04,976 - Do you want some coffee? - Yeah. 114 00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,444 [LAUGHS] That's exactly 115 00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:07,578 what I was gonna drink. 116 00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,647 [DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS] 117 00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,783 Hm. 118 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,085 [DRAMATIC STING] 119 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,453 Why would anyone dance like no one's watching? 120 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:17,488 - That doesn't make any sense. - [GASPS] 121 00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:18,624 Who would do this? 122 00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:21,526 Well, I know a few women who are none too pleased 123 00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:22,760 with my behaviors. 124 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,929 - And you wanna know the worst part? - _ 125 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,732 Stuff like this tends to get me more followers 126 00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:29,936 on my Whitlock live stream. 127 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,873 [DRAMATIC STING] 128 00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:38,910 Coach, can I tell you something? 129 00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:41,579 My wife is coming to visit me at work tomorrow. 130 00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:44,482 Okay. Why is your nose sweatin'? 131 00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:47,485 'Cause I might have told her that... I'm a teacher. 132 00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:49,887 Oh, man. 133 00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:52,957 [LAUGHING] You're in trouble. 134 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,859 [DRAMATIC STING] 135 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:57,862 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 136 00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:00,531 ♪♪ 137 00:05:00,533 --> 00:05:02,500 [SIGHS] 138 00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:04,902 Have you seen an envelope with 10 grand? 139 00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:06,904 I'm the one who found the money. 140 00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:08,940 I am the money finder! 141 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,509 Keep it up, you're gonna find my foot in your ass. 142 00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:13,511 - Are you wearing a wire? - Hey... 143 00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:15,046 It's my puka shell necklace. 144 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:17,515 I... I was trying something new. 145 00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:20,018 Grandma told me I should've gone to parochial school. 146 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,954 But no, I needed to have a drama program. 147 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,922 Well, here's your drama, Anthony! 148 00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:27,725 Why did I try horse again? 149 00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:29,060 All right, y'all. Stop, stop. 150 00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,597 Stop! 151 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:33,931 The money is tearing us apart. Don't y'all see that? 152 00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:36,701 We're gonna return everything that we bought, 153 00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:39,704 and then we're gonna give the money back to Travis. 154 00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:41,741 That's the only way we're gonna be free, y'all. 155 00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:46,077 I've always had this coat. 156 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,679 [DRAMATIC STING] 157 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,847 Also previously on "A.P. Bio..." 158 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,517 I've been vandalized. 159 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,553 And do you wanna know who the real homewrecker is? 160 00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:58,089 It's the guy reno-ing my bathroom. 161 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,316 He came in with a sledgehammer... 162 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,158 Joyce. You did it. 163 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,661 I'm sick. I'm sick. 164 00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:04,729 I'm sick. I'm sick. 165 00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:05,830 Please don't hate me. 166 00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:07,765 Of course not. You're my friend. 167 00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:10,101 I would do anything for you. 168 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,569 Anything? 169 00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:12,804 [DRAMATIC STING] 170 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,906 Dale! There you are. 171 00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,808 I just went into the ladies room, 172 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,110 and one of the toilets is clogged up again, 173 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,712 so could you take a look at that? 174 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,581 Maybe hit it with the fecal snake. 175 00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:25,783 Thanks. Hi. 176 00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:28,121 - What a weird thing to say to a teacher. - [GIGGLES] 177 00:06:28,123 --> 00:06:29,921 Normally, people just ask me about outer space 178 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,264 - or bibliographies. - Mm-hmm. 179 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:32,724 Good morning. 180 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,759 I'm Dick. I'm the principal. 181 00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:36,594 Of the school. 182 00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:38,896 ♪♪ 183 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,132 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 184 00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,735 - That was Pam's veterinarian. - Oh. 185 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,103 Pam's taken a turn for the worse. 186 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,605 If she doesn't get surgery soon... 187 00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:49,540 ♪♪ 188 00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:51,142 It's bad news. 189 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:52,977 [DRAMATIC STING] 190 00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:54,812 Hey, Winston. Hey. 191 00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:57,015 It's Ralph! I was thinking. 192 00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,750 What if we got the ska band back together? 193 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,952 Huh? Yeah, do a couple of benefit shows. 194 00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:03,688 Make some, uh... Oh, you never broke up? 195 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:07,025 Oh. You... 196 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:09,395 Oh, you just kicked me out. 197 00:07:09,397 --> 00:07:11,029 Hey, Mom! Hey! 198 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,931 Listen. Um, how much money do you have? 199 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:17,869 Okay, and that's supposed to last you... 200 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,071 through the rest of the time? 201 00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:21,839 'Cause you know... 202 00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:23,775 It's just like oatmeal and Mr. Pibb with you. 203 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,177 I don't... what else are you spending the money on? 204 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:30,431 How much for a mint condition Sensation Comics 205 00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:33,618 the first-ever cover appearance of Wonder Woman. 206 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,720 Really? Oh, okay. 207 00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,622 How would I get one of those? 208 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:38,923 [DRAMATIC STING] 209 00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:41,859 - ♪♪ - _ 210 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:44,136 I thought it was at least something more like surprising. 211 00:07:44,138 --> 00:07:45,338 - No way. - [LAUGHS] 212 00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,098 On your left! 213 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:49,033 Oh, hell no! 214 00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:51,669 ♪♪ 215 00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:53,171 [DRAMATIC STING] 216 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,871 Thank you. I appreciate your cough drop. 217 00:07:54,873 --> 00:07:55,973 That was very nice. 218 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,075 Hmph. 219 00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,943 Oh. Hey, Gary. 220 00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:02,146 [DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS] 221 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:06,148 ♪♪ 222 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,823 ALL: Also previously on "A.P. Bio..." 223 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,791 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 224 00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:15,893 I know what kind of person you are, 225 00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:17,537 and I know what you can do. 226 00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:20,832 So, your money is in my locker. 227 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,734 - ♪♪ - _ 228 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:25,870 [DRAMATIC STING] 229 00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:27,974 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 230 00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:32,645 Oh, quit faking, you old baby. 231 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,913 [CRASHING] 232 00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:38,016 Oh, no. That's not good. 233 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,050 Oh. 234 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,952 I'm calling 911. 235 00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:43,322 Oh, God. Are we gonna get in trouble? 236 00:08:43,324 --> 00:08:45,440 Um, a medical emergency on school grounds? 237 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,858 Yeah. 238 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,093 All right, if we all just keep our mouths shut, 239 00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:50,661 we'll all be okay. 240 00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:53,665 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 241 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,200 ♪♪ 242 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:59,804 So, uh, we cut class like you told us to. 243 00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:02,842 And we ended up with this. 244 00:09:04,747 --> 00:09:06,715 Uh... 245 00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:08,254 It seems that the drug dealer and I 246 00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,214 have had a deep misunderstanding. 247 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,850 Yeah? 248 00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:15,019 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 249 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:17,955 Somebody at this school knows where that stolen money is! 250 00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:20,158 I'm declaring martial law. 251 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,560 Attention, Whitlock. 252 00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:23,770 The school is officially on lockdown. 253 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:24,773 Lock it up! 254 00:09:24,775 --> 00:09:26,075 Our community has experienced 255 00:09:26,077 --> 00:09:27,734 a serious violation of trust. 256 00:09:27,736 --> 00:09:29,003 Not funny! 257 00:09:29,005 --> 00:09:31,402 No one is leaving until we get to the bottom of it. 258 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,773 Don't even try it. 259 00:09:32,775 --> 00:09:35,773 Helen and I are coming to every classroom. 260 00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:38,276 And may God have mercy on your souls. 261 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,011 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 262 00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,879 Was that about us? 263 00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:44,916 We... are... hosed. 264 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,952 [DRAMATIC STRING MUSIC] 265 00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:49,921 That was definitely about us. 266 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,856 Mm-hmm. 267 00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:54,792 We are deeply, deeply hosed. 268 00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:58,794 ♪♪ 269 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:10,975 [RAMONES' "LISTEN TO MY HEART"] 270 00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:12,343 One, two, three, four! 271 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,079 ♪ Next time, I'll listen to my heart ♪ 272 00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:17,717 ♪ Next time, well, I'll be smart ♪ 273 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,628 And now, "A.P. Bio". 274 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,031 _ 275 00:10:31,033 --> 00:10:32,063 [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] 276 00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:33,865 Why did we let in 277 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,867 that old dude with a weak heart? 278 00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,511 I mean, it felt so good smoking his old ass, 279 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:39,871 but at what cost? 280 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:42,006 I mean, now he's sitting pretty in the hospital 281 00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:44,108 and we're probably gonna lose our damn jobs. 282 00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:45,778 I can't lose my job! 283 00:10:45,780 --> 00:10:47,111 Keith just subscribed to one of those 284 00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:49,724 expensive meal delivery services. 285 00:10:49,726 --> 00:10:50,859 We're gonna get out of this. 286 00:10:50,861 --> 00:10:52,275 We just have to get our story straight 287 00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:54,738 - before Durbin starts sniffing around. - Yeah. 288 00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:56,863 - Yeah, like weren't sneaking in. - Mm-mm! 289 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,423 Okay, we were staying late. 290 00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:00,024 Grading papers. 291 00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:01,079 Yeah. Yeah. 292 00:11:01,081 --> 00:11:02,427 And the old dude was... 293 00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:05,371 an Uber driver, uh, and we had to call him 294 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:06,831 because I was having car trouble. 295 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:07,867 Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 296 00:11:07,869 --> 00:11:10,972 And he begged, okay, to come into the school, okay? 297 00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:13,546 - Because he... - He always had a weird thing about peeing 298 00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:15,875 in the smaller toilets you find in school bathrooms. 299 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:20,044 Or we just say he had to pee. 300 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:21,504 Okay, it's simple. 301 00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:23,431 - Grading, Uber, pee. - Right, okay. 302 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,650 Grading, Uber, pee. 303 00:11:24,652 --> 00:11:27,401 You got it, Michelle? You can do this. 304 00:11:27,403 --> 00:11:29,371 That's the same thing you said when I caught you 305 00:11:29,373 --> 00:11:30,654 eating Steph's last fudge pop, 306 00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:34,108 and I just told her now, and I'm still telling her! 307 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,193 Somebody stop me. Help! 308 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,394 Just stick to the script. 309 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:37,862 - Okay, Michelle? - Yeah. 310 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,197 Mary, 311 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,199 you owe my baby some fudge. 312 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,201 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 313 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,744 Hey, hey. Calm down. 314 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:46,137 Hey, hey! Chill out. 315 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:48,439 Principal Durbin and Ms. DeMarcus are going to be here soon. 316 00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:50,274 - What do we do? - We're dead. 317 00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,508 You can all go down for this, but not me. 318 00:11:52,510 --> 00:11:53,543 I'm clean. 319 00:11:53,545 --> 00:11:55,113 Your pants might disagree. 320 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,347 - [CLEARS THROAT] - [CHUCKLES] 321 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,116 Private joke. Just ignore it. 322 00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,084 You got diarrhea from eating horse meat. 323 00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:01,285 They filled me in. 324 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,087 Look, it might be embarrassing, 325 00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:04,956 but at least it's not illegal. 326 00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,792 You know, she's right. Okay? 327 00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:08,559 Your petty little squabbles are nothing compared 328 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,603 to Possession with Intent to Distribute. 329 00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,096 We need a plan here. 330 00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:14,649 We could flush it, get the little fishies 331 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,467 in the Maumee River all hopped up good. 332 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:17,969 [CLEARS THROAT] 333 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,504 Speaking hypothetically, 334 00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,973 I don't think the school's plumbing can handle 335 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,616 even a simple pair of cotton underwear, 336 00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:26,110 let alone... all of that. 337 00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:27,813 We're not flushing anything, okay? 338 00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:29,580 We're gonna hide the drugs until we can sell them 339 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,416 and get the money back. 340 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,118 I hate to be that guy, but... 341 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,020 you're all drug dealers now. 342 00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:39,424 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 343 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:42,427 And that's basically the Vietnam War. 344 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:45,096 Definitely no picnic. 345 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,197 Okay? 346 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:49,000 Helen, Principal Durbin. 347 00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,369 Welcome. 348 00:12:50,371 --> 00:12:52,070 I think you know why we're here. 349 00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:53,691 If anyone has anything 350 00:12:53,693 --> 00:12:57,107 they would like to own up to first... 351 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,877 Yeah. Right. 352 00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:01,001 Um, okay, so see, what had happened was, 353 00:13:01,003 --> 00:13:02,605 um, if y'all were curious, 354 00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:04,182 is that we were here last night. 355 00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:05,985 Grading papers. 356 00:13:05,987 --> 00:13:09,120 Um, and we called an Uber because Mary had car trouble. 357 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,321 - What? - Yeah. 358 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:13,024 Corollas are usually so reliable! 359 00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:16,327 Yeah. You know, of course they are. 360 00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:19,430 Uh, but her tires were slashed. 361 00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:22,100 What is happening at this school? 362 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,150 Now we gotta go check out the parking lot, I guess. 363 00:13:24,152 --> 00:13:25,506 Oh, you checking out the parking lot... 364 00:13:25,508 --> 00:13:28,039 You know, you guys know an amusing thing 365 00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,475 about pregnant women is how frequently they urinate. 366 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,312 So, excuse me. 367 00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:38,082 Have you guys texted your friends 368 00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:39,550 about buying some cocaine? 369 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:42,053 I mean, I feel like you're not helping here. Wh... 370 00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:44,088 You made us skip. You lost the money. 371 00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,698 It's kind of all your fault. 372 00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:47,325 Well, let's... 373 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,028 let's set that aside for the moment, Sarika, okay? 374 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,330 Let's... let's fish that out of a clogged toilet, 375 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,531 ball it up, and throw it deep 376 00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:56,234 into the bathroom garbage, okay, for the moment. 377 00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:58,398 For the moment, maybe toss a few paper towels on top, okay? 378 00:13:58,400 --> 00:13:59,901 'Cause I'm not going down for this! 379 00:13:59,903 --> 00:14:02,240 If they come for you, boss, I'll take the fall. 380 00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:04,970 I thought I'd be the first in my family to go to college, 381 00:14:04,972 --> 00:14:07,078 but instead, I'll be the 19th in my family 382 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,113 to go to jail. 383 00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:10,615 Okay, no. Heather, you can't do that. 384 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:13,618 Look, I'll confess to it all. 385 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,386 I'll take the fall for you. 386 00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:18,022 ALL: Aww. 387 00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,224 Dan, no. 388 00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:22,293 You're a good friend. 389 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:26,030 I can't let you go down for this. 390 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,201 I'll take the fall. 391 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:34,105 S-somebody gonna... 392 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:37,208 That daisy-chain lost momentum quickly. 393 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,610 No, no one person is taking the fall for this. 394 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,379 We'll find a place to hide it, okay? 395 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,348 I mean, obviously we can't keister it, you know? 396 00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:45,985 If you change your mind, I do have 16 condoms. 397 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:50,254 Well, th... uh... 398 00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:51,622 Good. 399 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:54,058 I support that. 400 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,260 But what's something else? 401 00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,596 Eyes on your own paper, Marie. 402 00:14:58,598 --> 00:14:59,899 Oh. 403 00:14:59,901 --> 00:15:01,265 So real quick. 404 00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:03,035 Mary's tires got slashed last night 405 00:15:03,037 --> 00:15:05,205 when we were here together working. 406 00:15:05,207 --> 00:15:07,141 - Grading, Uber, pee. - Right. 407 00:15:07,143 --> 00:15:09,073 Plus, when Durbin came to my classroom, 408 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,825 I told him that we stayed extra late 409 00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:12,377 because we're all writing a play 410 00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,545 called "The Princess and the Snow Cone". 411 00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:15,848 - A play? - No, no, no. 412 00:15:15,850 --> 00:15:17,415 Don't even worry about it. It's super simple. 413 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,584 Okay, the king of an ancient tropical land 414 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,585 tells the princess that she can have anything 415 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,454 that her heart desires for her birthday. 416 00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:26,324 But he never counted on her asking for a snow cone, 417 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:29,160 an impossible wish due to the lack of refrigeration 418 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:31,429 and aforementioned tropicality. 419 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,297 Also there's a bear? 420 00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:35,633 I think I got this, okay? I can do it. 421 00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,335 Good morning, Ralph. 422 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,437 Mm... that was too forced, right? 423 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,305 Good morning, Ralph. No, that's the same. 424 00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:42,898 Welcome to the classroom, Ralph. 425 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,275 Ralph, hello. 426 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,693 Everybody gets into accidents walking. 427 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,311 Some people have to practice walking. 428 00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:49,580 Yoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! It's okay. 429 00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:52,116 It's okay. Everybody take a breath. 430 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,218 You all take a breath too. Tale a breath in and out. 431 00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:56,320 In and out! But keep your eyes down. 432 00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:57,722 You keep your eyes up! 433 00:15:57,724 --> 00:15:59,323 Ralph, get out of my classroom! 434 00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,125 Nobody can come in here! 435 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,460 This is my room! 436 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,295 Oh, God. They're closing in. 437 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,596 Okay, Jack. Um, think. 438 00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,298 We've gotta hide it. Um... 439 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,667 What do we do, what do we do, what do we do? Um... 440 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,670 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 441 00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,706 ♪♪ 442 00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:17,175 And this guy starts like, "Oh!" 443 00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:18,476 I can't believe she caved. 444 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,244 Like, really, really. 445 00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:22,347 And we didn't know what to do with him! 446 00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,482 Yes. We did it. 447 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,933 It was us. 448 00:16:26,935 --> 00:16:29,904 We are the ones that brought the ice down 449 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,389 from the misty mountains. 450 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,324 Take this back to the princess, 451 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:36,463 and she can have her snow cone! 452 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,297 Curtain. Intermission. 453 00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:42,233 Wow, that... that all happens in act 1? 454 00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:44,769 - That's amazing! - I have a few notes. 455 00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:48,306 I feel like it owes a big debt to "Emperor's New Groove". 456 00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,408 Well, yeah, that's... oh! Oh. 457 00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:53,478 Michelle was telling us about the new play you guys wrote. 458 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,679 Oh, my God, Ralph, we have to go find the missing money. 459 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,515 We... oh, my God. 460 00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,717 Did she say "missing money"? 461 00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:02,353 I can't wait to see the rest of this. 462 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,455 I can't believe you open in a week! 463 00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:05,590 [CHUCKLES] 464 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,759 [SIGHS] 465 00:17:07,761 --> 00:17:09,260 [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] 466 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:12,630 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 467 00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,365 Little bit more... 468 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,667 Little bit more... oh! 469 00:17:15,669 --> 00:17:18,736 Just about... [GRUNTS] 470 00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,571 Hi. Hey. 471 00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:23,293 Durbin, Helen. Yeah, come on in. 472 00:17:23,295 --> 00:17:25,834 So yeah, as you guys can see, standing up on something 473 00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:28,713 flexes the tibialis interior muscle 474 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,648 which stabilizes the leg and the foot. 475 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:33,284 ALL: Oh! 476 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,318 Yeah. 477 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:35,386 Oh, okay. 478 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,488 Well, we'll just make this quick. 479 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,590 We are looking for a... 480 00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:40,592 [THUD] 481 00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:54,207 Any update on Pam? 482 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,568 - [BELL RINGS] - On the next "A.P. Bio..." 483 00:18:00,570 --> 00:18:02,747 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 484 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,649 I know exactly what that is. 485 00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:07,285 We snorted a lot of it in the '80s. 486 00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:08,886 It's pure baking flour. 487 00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:10,355 ♪♪ 488 00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:12,490 It's called a bread bump. 489 00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:15,361 ♪♪ 490 00:18:15,363 --> 00:18:18,265 Yeah, so I found the guy who sold Victor that fake cocaine. 491 00:18:18,267 --> 00:18:19,897 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tackled him, 492 00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:21,432 and he whipped around and grabbed my throat. 493 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,633 Gouge his eyes! 494 00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:24,369 Yeah, uh, well, this already happened. 495 00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:25,436 - Oh, right. - Yeah. 496 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,705 So, anyway, um, I broke free. 497 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,540 And I had an opening for a death blow, 498 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,743 but I didn't wanna kill him 'cause he's a student. 499 00:18:31,745 --> 00:18:34,312 I wish more of our teachers had your restraint. 500 00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,647 So, long story short... 501 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:37,915 I got the money back. 502 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,717 So who is it? 503 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,719 I can never tell. 504 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,321 [WHISPERING] He's an undercover cop. 505 00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,656 BOTH: What? 506 00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,525 Yeah, so we better just, you know, 507 00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:48,659 look the other way on this one. 508 00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:50,161 And that's coming down from the brass. 509 00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:51,227 [GASPS] Oh! 510 00:18:51,229 --> 00:18:53,631 Pam! We gotta get our sweet princess to the veterinarian. 511 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,400 - Let's go, let's go, let's go. - Thank you. 512 00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:57,769 Also on the next "A.P. Bio..." 513 00:18:57,771 --> 00:19:00,872 You're the principal, yes? 514 00:19:00,874 --> 00:19:02,774 You're richer than teacher? 515 00:19:02,776 --> 00:19:04,509 Powerful? 516 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,444 Uh, yes, I'm the top dog. 517 00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,479 I'm the 518 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,583 [MOANING] 519 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,820 [DRAMATIC STING] 520 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,922 Oh, my sweet princess, 521 00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:19,824 how I failed thee. 522 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,427 What need I hands if not to deliver to you 523 00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:24,562 thy cone of snow? 524 00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:27,565 Ow! 525 00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,567 [GRUNTS] Shit. Sorry. 526 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:30,968 [DRAMATIC STING] 527 00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:33,771 Also on the next "A.P. Bio..." 528 00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:36,799 So yours truly snuck out his back window, right, 529 00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:38,543 when his lady got home. 530 00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:41,579 There you are, you man-stealing bitch! 531 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,013 You slept with my boyfriend, 532 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,807 biology teacher Jack Griffin! 533 00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,451 So what if I did? 534 00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:48,888 And by the way, he was terrible. 535 00:19:48,890 --> 00:19:49,990 [GASPS] 536 00:19:49,992 --> 00:19:51,493 Gotta go. Back soon. 537 00:19:51,495 --> 00:19:53,889 Okay, I love the part about Jack being bad in bed. 538 00:19:53,891 --> 00:19:56,068 - Oh, thank you. - Did we get a good cliffhanger for you? 539 00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:57,071 Oh, yeah. 540 00:19:57,073 --> 00:19:59,272 The pigs are definitely sniffing around 541 00:19:59,274 --> 00:20:00,341 for a mushroom. 542 00:20:00,343 --> 00:20:01,944 [BOTH LAUGHING] 543 00:20:02,936 --> 00:20:05,403 Hey, it's Dave, right? 544 00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:07,472 [BLEEP] off, Gary. 545 00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:09,707 [DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS] 546 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,642 [DRAMATIC STING] 547 00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,911 Thanks, King Dad. 548 00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:15,747 And I never could have done it 549 00:20:15,749 --> 00:20:19,484 without the indigenous peoples of this place. 550 00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:21,953 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 551 00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:24,922 [TRIUMPHANT MUSIC] 552 00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:27,558 ♪♪ 553 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,430 [LOUDER CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 554 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,532 Whoo-hoo-hoo. 555 00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:36,968 Also on the next "A.P. Bio..." 556 00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:39,537 Pam the Ram made it through surgery, Ralph! 557 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:40,605 Yeah! 558 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,473 - [BOTH LAUGHING] - Ow, oh. 559 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:43,908 Helen... 560 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,777 did you give her one of your kidneys? 561 00:20:45,779 --> 00:20:47,011 [GONG RINGS] 562 00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:49,881 Life is crazy. 563 00:20:49,883 --> 00:20:53,584 It's crazy that Pam the Ram survived this whole transplant, 564 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,054 only to be hit by a bus. 565 00:20:56,056 --> 00:20:58,756 And it's even crazier that she survived 566 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,591 being hit by a bus 567 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,727 and that this 568 00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:04,929 is the bus driver's funeral. 569 00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:07,465 You know, Neil Young said, 570 00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,801 "It's better to burn out than fade away". 571 00:21:09,803 --> 00:21:12,070 And Def Leppard quoted him 572 00:21:12,072 --> 00:21:14,072 in their song, "Rock of Ages", 573 00:21:14,074 --> 00:21:16,841 which Deborah's niece will now play 574 00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:18,843 on the trombone. 575 00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,611 Ophelia? 576 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:23,948 [TROMBONE BLARING BADLY] 577 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:27,652 ♪♪ 578 00:21:27,654 --> 00:21:29,789 [SIGHS] 579 00:21:32,092 --> 00:21:34,692 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 580 00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:38,694 ♪♪ 581 00:21:49,378 --> 00:21:54,378 - Synced and corrected by